Pieces of Me (Part 2)

Monday, February 24, 2014

Maybe this is how Job felt. What witness can I give of my faith, when by all appearances my life is anything but put together? Could anyone on the outside looking in see what good my God has done?

The thing that hurts most is how far I am from providing the life for my children that I hoped. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I have no stable home for them. I have no respectable status in the community, no loving marriage to nurture them in. I go to bed at night without an ounce of energy to care for myself. I fend off depression by burying myself in end-times bible study, hoping for Jesus to return soon.

Last night I do believe he came to visit me. At least, in the form of a reminder of his love for us given by a random stranger. In Wal Mart, of all places.

It was the end of an exhausting shopping trip with three of the kids when this old Polish woman came right up to our cart. She placed a hand on my arm, looked me in the eyes, and said to me in broken English, “You know, people don’t mention this too much but they…” she pointed to my children, “they are living assets. You know? We have homes, I have a house, people drive cars and wear clothes. We need those things, but those things are all dead assets. They can’t really give us back anything. But children will change this world. You can never say you are without purpose. See?”

The tears were unavoidable at this moment. How did she know? We talked for a few minutes longer. Her name was Antoinette. She never had any children of her own, but oh how she sees them! She told me they are my blessings. I have been wondering all day if she was an angel.

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Pieces of Me (part 1)

This morning I prayed, being so desperate to be rid of this spiritual numbness. It’s like there has been a block in my prayer life and connection to God.

While setting up my prayer space I noticed some plants needed water. I went to get the water pitcher. While watering one of them I saw it had one bunch of leaves that had discolored spots and small holes, and another bundle that had crinkled leaves like it didn’t receive enough nutrients.

I remembered that you have to removed damaged parts like that because they can affect the health of the whole plant and stunt its growth. My first thought was I really didn’t want to take away from the fulness of the plant. Nevertheless, as I plucked the bad parts off and carried them to the trash can that’s when I realized what it represented for my spiritual life. I got on my knees and cried.

My bible was opened to Hebrews chapter 6. It says that the earth that receives rain and bears fruit also receives a blessing from God, and it blesses the one who takes care of the land. But the ground that bears up thorns and weeds has to get burned away.

Then in verse 15 it tells of Abraham who had patience to wait for God’s promise. Abraham was promised that God would bless him and make many nations from his descendants. Although God had promised that He would multiply him, he had yet passed his late 90s when he finally had a son, Isaac. This son was the culmination of all his faith and hope in God, although imperfect in the waiting. This child was God’s seal that His promise was trustworthy.

Can you imagine what the day of Isaac’s birth felt like for Abraham?

Then I thought about when God had shown Himself so faithful to me in a similar way. It was the beginning of Spring in 2018. I was about 12 weeks pregnant, and my new marriage ended in a violent way. My whole world was broken. It was the most confusing and loneliest time I can remember in my life.

I questioned God. I questioned myself.

No. I hated myself. The leadership in my church turned their backs to me. It felt like my family turned their backs to me. I was a lost cause. Had God turned away from me too?

In that darkness my doctor told me I was in the middle of a miscarriage, and I would lose the baby, too.

There were three precious women from my now former church who helped me get through this. I called up one sister in Christ and could barely form the words over the phone. She came over right away, put her hands on my belly and cried for God to save my baby. Then she literally told Satan to take his hands off of my child.

The next day, and the day after that, there were no remaining symptoms. The doctor confirmed with bloodwork and ultrasound that the baby was strong and healthy.

I remember hoping for a little girl so much. I was grateful, but I thought I screwed up my life so bad I didn’t deserve that. So, when I found out the news I pretty much fell to the floor like a pile of mush.

That is God’s faithfulness. That’s His grace and love.

In Isaiah 54 I read, “Though the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed, yet my kindness shall never be taken away from you.”

I had certainly seen some mountains crumble. This was just one. But I know He keeps His promises.

Even when I’ve royally missed the mark. This is where I needed to reflect today. For every valley and every severed branch that’s been taken away from me, He has never failed to show up with a seal of His trustworthiness throughout my life: that He will never leave me or forsake me.

Dear Loving Father, you have been overwhelmingly and abundantly faithful to me. Will you quietly show me every area of my life that is dry, unhealthy, and damaged that is harming my faith and my connection to you? God, I surrender to you as the Gardener of my Soul, and I want to bring to you the honor that you deserve. Forgive me for every time I haven’t done that, and water my faith with your truth and your life. All the glory belongs to you. In the name of your Son, Jesus, I will rest, and I will grow in you. Love, me

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The Unraveling

Solid ground became a past-thing. Substance and deepness were now just pebbles dribbling down a steep, cumbered side of the cliff called truth.

People were numb. They wandered without sense of feeling. Only to survive.

They didn’t even know why.

To keep climbing was only to delay the inevitable descent down as the race for foundation eroded the cliff.

Rock by rock got hurled off and they killed all the heroes.

They looked back to see them falling and sneered. That’s when I knew the only emotion they had left was hate.

It was a hate that mirrored the worst insanity you could imagine.

The people with light who still had feeling were struck with bewildering fear if caught in its fire. But it was beyond what the grace of words could offer. They were only trying to warn the masses of the avalanche.


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What Are You Feeding Your Soul?

Truth: Thought patterns and perspectives toward people go hand-in-hand. Veteran police officers in high-crime cities and prison correctional officers have some unfortunate realities in common. They get so jaded from dealing with criminals in their careers that they mentally deteriorate.  Not all. Some, adopt an “us and them” worldview in which they view all civilians as suspicious or guilty while becoming, progressively, only able to relate to others in their line of work; their perspective on individuals is polarized as either all “good” or all “bad”. For others, the line between themselves and the bad guys gets blurred so significantly they adopt habits just as corrupt, becoming criminally-minded themselves. Some just take the negative patterns out on their loved ones behind closed doors.

This is not an essay against the real heroes in blue who fight for us daily. However, our thought lives matter. What we surround ourselves with matter.  It’s normal to eat healthier when the numbers on the scale go way up. But what we feed the soul is inherently connected to mental baggage and the relationships around us, too.

I challenge you this: try binge-watching reality homicide shows for just a week. Then pay attention to your thoughts in normal situations with people in general. Wait…don’t.

The human brain was designed with a remarkable capacity to re-wire itself. And the choice is often a personal responsibility to spiral in cynicism or stop to reprogram it.  How loud is the pesky inner-critic?  I often have to check myself here, only to discover that it’s absolutely time for a soul-diet. 🌅

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:6‭-‬9 NKJV

2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. 3 For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.
Romans 12:2‭-‬3 NKJV

3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.
Isaiah 26:3 NKJV

31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NKJV

4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
II Corinthians 10:4‭-‬5 NKJV

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It was around December of 2005.

I went to counseling. Your brother Austin still growing in my belly. A little over 2 months to go. We left Ohio not long ago then.

My counselor, Melissa was her name, and I were watching intently as you spun and twirled in circles, singing to yourself before we left the meeting. Just as clear as if it were yesterday, I remember she said to me, “I wonder what it would be like to be so carefree as she is. Not a thought in the world of what other people might think. Just simply happy and free to dance as she pleases, enjoying the very moment of life.”

That was 15 years ago. You’re 17 now and I am more aware than I ever was, how little I understood back then.

One thing I have learned is that little girl is still in there somewhere. Not just dancing through the time and space of memory, but sheltered deep underneath the layers of confusion and programming that the darkness of this world and my poor choices as a mom have enabled to be there.

She is still in there, happy and free, wrestling under the defense mechanisms that were set up like scaffolding in the constructs of your mind. They were engineered with good purpose to protect you from any more pain. They served well as a buffer for a long time. But now they bind like chains…holding that little girl inside captive underneath the surface warning her never to come out. And what was once a safe hiding place from trauma, abandonment, and betrayal has become the barbed wire prison wall keeping at a distance any realness that would come to offer healing, joy, intimacy, or freedom. Including God.

She is there in your subconscious, the undercurrent of your thoughts and stuffed emotions.. So you make attempts to escape. But since there is no escaping yourself the closest you can find remedy is to dull her voice. To shut her up from singing like the evil stepmother in Cinderella. If you can make her compliant and be still from dancing it would lessen the painful reality of how un-free you are.

Before you know it habits and behaviors form patterns in your life to keep the scaffolding around your heart from breaking down. They come in the form of toxic relationships, of substance abuse, and avoiding. You then need the very things that are destroying you. The chains of defense become so imbedded in you that cutting free would cause grievous wounds from which could surely bleed out.

I know this because I am in the bleeding. I lived this. And now at a time in my maturity that should have come and gone decades ago, the pain from breaking off the chains rips open scars necessary to heal what I didn’t want to face before. What I escaped from I only repeated blindly with few seasons of reprieve. I dulled my emotions, I dumbed down my thinking, I lived on the surface never going deeper and unconsciously tried to erase all meaning and reasoning. Except the older I became the stronger my walls were that kept God out and everyone else. But what they really did kept me locked behind them.

I beg you don’t do this.

But the only one who can choose is you.

I watch from a distance, intently, as you spiral into the same pitfalls acting like you don’t care. About anything..about anyone..doing everything you can to shut up that beautiful little girl somewhere on the shores of your subconscious burying her. In my own bleeding my heart is now breaking for you. I pray for my own healing and I pray for you every day. I face my own darkness inside and I ask God to reach down and pull you out of your own. That somehow you can still hear His voice and He will cover you with mercy and protect you even in your rebellion.

I know I didn’t do things right. I know in my lostness you suffered. I struggle with that more than you might ever know. And I’m sorry. I want you to know when you wake up from this I will still be here. God will still be here for you. With open arms.

Don’t let 15 years go by. Don’t let 5. I am here watching, praying, and waiting, to see you smile, to see you sing, and to see you free. I love you.

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It Isn’t Conspiracy Theory It Is History

Is it just me? Am I alone here? I look at this face and I read this story and weep. That was somebody’s baby treated like an animal. That could be my little girl. Or my son. I look around at society. At the shallow pretending this generation indulges in as if we are not close to history repeating itself in this way. “It’s a new year”, “a fresh start”, ” a new you”, “things will get better”. No. They won’t. Deep down, it’s there. You can feel it in the air when you’re around people. The anxiety, the tense unrest in the energy: in traffic, in the grocery store, in the eyes of your neighbors and strangers. A time when not only humanity will devour itself but when evil has descended upon humanity. It is time to get on our knees and repent and turn to the Living God. Time is almost out. Choose this day who you will serve, whether Jesus Christ or the kingdom of darkness and everlasting torment with it. What side of these last days of history will you be on?

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Does This Make Any Sense?

In the bigger picture, yes.

The Bible teaches that because God is just He deals with His people first before He sends judgment on the wicked. 1 Peter 4:17 reads, “For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?”. It’s an accurate & interesting read.

From the pew to the pulpit, the people in this part of the world who have called themselves by the name of Christ, have fulfilled the prophetic words of Jesus about what will happen in the time of the end: (Matthew 24:3-5) ” While Jesus was seated on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, and said, “Tell us, when will this [destruction of the temple] take place, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end (completion, consummation) of the age?”
Jesus answered, “Be careful that no one misleads you [deceiving you and leading you into error]. 5 For many will come in My name [misusing it, and appropriating the strength of the name which belongs to Me], saying, ‘I am the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed),’ and they will mislead many. ”

Look around in the 21st Century; no one even knows what the truth of God is anymore, despite 40,000 denominations of Christianity and a church building on nearly every corner in America, because they aren’t preaching the true gospel of Christ. So it is no surprise the Lord has allowed a situation causing the church buildings to be emptied. “Let all who have ears give heed to what the Spirit is saying to the Churches” (Revelation 2:7,11,17, 29, 3:6, 13, 22). “So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent” (Revelation 2:5)

God takes the abuse of His name and His people very seriously. Look at the way Jesus reacted in the temple when he saw the moneychangers profiteering from the offerings: (John 2 :14-16) ” And within the temple grounds He found those who were selling oxen, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. And He made a whip of cords, and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables; and to those who were selling the doves He said, “Take these things away from here; stop making My Father’s house a place of business!” (Other translations say “a den of thieves”)

Do you now see how this meme of empty churches is lining up with scripture? The biggest irony perhaps is found in the packed airplane. Consider this prophetic verse from God’s word: “Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord GOD, when I will send a famine on the land— not a famine of bread or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD. People will stagger from sea to sea and roam from north to east, seeking the word of the LORD, but they will not find it.… ” (Amos 8: 11-12)

The “famine” in the land described here is a spiritual one, in which people are starved of hearing the true word of God, because it has ceased from being taught in the institutions that claim to represent Him. Not by coincidence, world travel and an abundance of other lifestyle pursuits-of-happiness have replaced our human recognition of our need for God in this society (See Daniel 12:4). This is only one end-times prophecy that has been fulfilled in your lifetime.

God is sovereign. He will allow the wicked to rule over the nations and allow tribulation to increase for a time as He brings His children to repentance. We are seeing the beginnings of persecution of the Christian church in the west, and it will continue to grow more hostile. That’s where the rubber meets the road; eventually those who truly serve Jesus as Lord and those claim to follow Christ will have chosen where they stand. Many who have strayed from God will return. Many who were lost will be saved as they call upon the name of the Lord in truth. When this season is finished, however long that will be, Jesus will rescue His people and then His judgment of the wicked will fall upon every nation.

As the world is more engulfed with darkness and chaos, the light of God will shine brighter from those who are filled with His Holy Spirit.

Thus my focus has shifted from complaining and fighting for my “rights” because I remember Jesus told us that His kingdom is not of this world (John 18:36). Our freedom comes IN Him and only in Him (Romans 10, Matthew 11). He gives us grace. We are just travelers and pilgrims in a foreign place, seeking a home to come that He has promised (Hebrews 11).

My prayer is for my brothers and sisters in the US, Canada, and elsewhere, to keep hidden in the safety of the shelter of the Almighty, to never give up, and never deny Jesus as Lord, no matter what happens next. Stay surrendered to the Lord each day, humble and broken for the world, keep praying for your loved ones, loving your enemies, reaching out to the lost, and do not lose your songs of joy and hope. Be strong and be brave, in the name of Jesus. ❤

With Love in Christ,

Theresa Ann

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The Face of Being Human

This will probably be long. Feel free to pass on by if that isn’t your thing.

I have refrained from sharing very much or posting and commenting and have been trying to use more time to pray, seek, trust, and examine my own heart. And these things are on my heart today. I am grateful, and God is so good. I feel blessed to know a few who live as an inspiration to others like me in what it means to live according to the convictions of their consciences before God. If we are truly ‘in Christ’ (Christian), God’s word teaches that every man should live according to his conscience because it is the Holy Spirit within us, who speaks to our consciences.
The Bible has so many mentions of the countenance of man. For this it stands to reason that God has placed special significance to it; the human face, its expression, and our countenance. We were created in His own image.
When someone is rescued from being stranded, or sick, or even shut in due to a storm, the expression of enormous relief is a familiar one, “I haven’t seen another face in __ (months, weeks, days)!!!” Or this one: “It’s SO GOOD just to see another FACE!”
When I have to go to the store to get necessities (and i mean, when i absolutely cannot avoid it or we will go hungry), I look at the eyes of others just to see if there are any like mine with tears in them who might be desperately missing connection that once took place: kind smile from someone else, a warm hello, a conversation in the checkout line….the spark of light exchanged to and from another soul in this dark world. But nothing. Apathy. Hate. Ignorance. Avoidance. Actual selfishness. Once in a while I do recognize depression, loss of will, hopelessness, and yes, tears. I am convinced absence of another human face is why prisoners placed in isolation lose their minds.
So I was discouraged last night listening to another Christian leader rebuking other believers for not wearing masks, because I know in my own convictions the evil agenda behind this. People are twisting it and playing right into the evil. So, I was looking up some scriptures this morning before and feel led to share them..
((I understand you may disagree, that is ok too. You can choose to mock me, to talk about me and make me out to be a fool. I am not a perfect person. I made wrong turns in this life, I aim to do better, I am capable of error, i struggle with things, and I don’t consider myself higher or better than you. But I am who I am by the grace of God and not of my own merit. Jesus Christ is Lord, and every day I try to love Him in a manner that is worthy of the sacrifice He made to save me. If you have read this far, and you find that your face is twisted like the reflection of a fun-house-mirror with resentment & laughing scorn for me… then well, you have your own convictions, and I have mine.))
I am not the judge so I will leave that up to God. But whether or not you are struggling with this, like I am, whoever you are reading this, I’m sending love out & prayers up, from NY.

“But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him. But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we. For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works. Seeing that many glory after the flesh, I will glory also. For ye suffer fools gladly, seeing ye yourselves are wise. For ye suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you, if a man take of you, if a man exalt himself, if a man smite you on the face. Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities. The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not. In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king kept the city of the Damascenes with a garrison, desirous to apprehend me: And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands.”
From 2 Corinthians chapter 11 KJV

“And he sent, and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to. And the Lord said, Arise, anoint him: for this is he.”
1 Samuel 16:12 KJV

“There be many that say, Who will shew us any good? Lord , lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.
Psalms 4:6 KJV

“In him was life; and the life was the light of men. That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.”
John 1:4‭, ‬9 KJV

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
Proverbs 27:17 KJV

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
Matthew 5:14‭-‬16 KJV

“The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.”
Numbers 6:25‭-‬26 KJV

“Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.”
Matthew 6:16 KJV

“O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.”
Song of Solomon 2:14 KJV

“Then let our countenances be looked upon before thee, and the countenance of the children that eat of the portion of the king’s meat: and as thou seest, deal with thy servants.”
Daniel 1:13 KJV

“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”
Proverbs 15:13 KJV

“And he settled his countenance stedfastly, until he was ashamed: and the man of God wept.”
2 Kings 8:11 KJV

“Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.”
Ecclesiastes 7:3 KJV

“And she said, Let thine handmaid find grace in thy sight. So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.”
1 Samuel 1:18 kjv

“Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.”
1 Samuel 25:3 KJV

“Now the queen, by reason of the words of the king and his Lords, came into the banquet house: and the queen spake and said, O king, live for ever: let not thy thoughts trouble thee, nor let thy countenance be changed”
Daniel 5:10 KJV

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”
Psalms 43:5 KJV

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Seeing the World As My Old Hometown: a Switch in Focus

I moved away from my old hometown during high school. When I would return to visit, I discovered a strange but freeing phenomenon taking place in my perception. Somehow it seemed smaller, almost temporal. It became benign and non-threatening. The interpersonal conflicts and dramas that existed there somehow lost their weight and seemed nothing more than a passing wind. Did something change in the place I used to call home? Or, did something change in me? No, the people were the same. I had changed.

Having moved back many years ago, it has been as if that perception steadily waned over time. Eventually the smallness, the loss of power these surroundings had to affect me internally, seemed to vanish, and I instead, became small. Did something change in me? Or did something change in the place I called my home? No, the people were all the same. I had changed.

The other day it struck me profoundly: I noticed in a familiar but new way the gaping chasm between this broken-down and temporary place and the reality of eternity that exists beyond this dying flesh-and-concrete prison. Not only in my hometown, but this world. And it was freeing

Jesus said ” Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its young shoots become tender and it puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near; so you, too, when you see all these things [taking place], know for certain that He is near, right at the door. I assure you and most solemnly say to you, this generation [the people living when these signs and events begin] will not pass away until all these things take place. Heaven and earth [as now known] will pass away, but My words will not pass away.”
(Matthew 24:32-35 Amp )

“For we are strangers before you and sojourners, as all our fathers were. Our days on the earth are like a shadow, and there is no abiding.” (1 Chronicles 29:15)

The word of God makes a clear distinction between His kingdom and the systems or culture of this world. In Hebrews 11 we read a collective testimony of what it means to walk by faith: those who have “gone off the deep end” according to the standards of this world.

” By faith Abraham, when he was called [by God], obeyed by going to a place which he was to receive as an inheritance; and he went, not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as a foreigner in the promised land, as in a strange land, living in tents [as nomads] with Isaac and Jacob, who were fellow heirs of the same promise.

For he was [waiting expectantly and confidently] looking forward to the city which has foundations, [an eternal, heavenly city] whose architect and builder is God.

All these died in faith [guided and sustained by it], without receiving the [tangible fulfillment of God’s] promises, only having seen (anticipated) them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.

Now those who say such things make it clear that they are looking for a country of their own. And if they had been thinking of that country from which they departed [as their true home], they would have had [a continuing] opportunity to return. But the truth is that they were longing for a better country, that is, a heavenly one.

For that reason God is not ashamed [of them or] to be called their God [even to be surnamed their God—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob]; for He has prepared a city for them.

By faith Moses, after his birth, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful and divinely favored child; and they were not afraid of the king’s (Pharaoh’s) decree. By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, because he preferred to endure the hardship of the people of God rather than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of the Christ [that is, the rebuke he would suffer for his faithful obedience to God] to be greater wealth than all the treasures of Egypt; for he looked ahead to the reward [promised by God]. By faith he left Egypt, being unafraid of the wrath of the king; for he endured [steadfastly], as seeing Him who is unseen.

And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, who by faith [that is, with an enduring trust in God and His promises] subdued kingdoms, administered justice, obtained promised blessings, closed the mouths of lions, extinguished the power of [raging] fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became mighty and unbeatable in battle, putting enemy forces to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured [to death], refusing to accept release [offered on the condition of denying their faith], so that they would be resurrected to a better life; and others experienced the trial of mocking and scourging [amid torture], and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned [to death], they were sawn in two, they were lured with tempting offers [to renounce their faith], they were put to death by the sword; they went about wrapped in the skins of sheep and goats, utterly destitute, oppressed, cruelly treated (people of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and [living in] caves and holes in the ground.” (Hebrews 11 AMP )

Those who live as citizens of the kingdom of God will walk inversely proportionate to those who serve worldly appetites. There is a glaring contrast.

“For there are many, of whom I have often told you, and now tell you even with tears, who live as enemies of the cross of Christ [rejecting and opposing His way of salvation], whose fate is destruction, whose god is their belly [their worldly appetite, their sensuality, their vanity], and whose glory is in their shame—who focus their mind on earthly and temporal things. But [we are different, because] our citizenship is in heaven. And from there we eagerly await [the coming of] the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;”
(Philippians 3:18‭-‬20)

“Our citizenship is in heaven”… …not this world, not the USA, not a state, or even a hometown. We are exiles and strangers here: foreigners in a strange land. We don’t belong here, but we do have a mission.

Has this world lost it’s grip on you? Have you “gone off the deep end” where God will part the waters? Are you seeing the temporary-ness and dying condition of this world? Is the reality of everlasting life “stamped on your eyeballs”? Can you hear the Lord’s heart to save souls right now? Or are you staying safe in shallow pools of self-preservation, placing in your heart the customs and decrees of this world above being completely surrendered and dependent upon Jesus Christ? The question I’ve been asking myself is, am I looking for a safe place to escape or am I living with the confidence in His promise of my place in everlasting Life?

“And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1John 2:17)

“Do not let your heart be troubled (afraid, cowardly). Believe [confidently] in God and trust in Him, [have faith, hold on to it, rely on it, keep going and] believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places. If it were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and I will take you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also. And [to the place] where I am going, you know the way.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going; so how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “ I am the [only] Way [to God] and the [real] Truth and the [real] Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”
(John 14:1‭-‬6 AMP)

How relevant are these warnings in Scripture becoming as time marches on toward the final days? :

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.” (Matthew 7:13)

“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of mere men, following the elementary principles of this world, rather than following [the truth of] Christ.”
(Colossians 2:8)

“You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:4)

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world” (1 John 2:15-16)

Finally, as the condition of this world deteriorates further, we need to be meditating and standing upon the precious and powerful promises in God’s word. These are verses to remind ourselves of daily:

“By which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” (2 Peter 1:4)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

“I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, bereaved, and helpless]; I will come [back] to you. After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. On that day [when that time comes] you will know for yourselves that I am in My Father, and you are in Me, and I am in you.
(John 14:18‭-‬20 AMP)

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.””(John 8:12)

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)

“I assure you and most solemnly say to you, that you will weep and grieve [in great mourning], but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. A woman, when she is in labor, has pain because her time [to give birth] has come; but when she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of her joy that a child has come into the world. So for now you are in grief; but I will see you again, and [then] your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take away from you your [great] joy. In that day you will not [need to] ask Me about anything. I assure you and most solemnly say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name [as My representative], He will give you.”
(John 16:20‭-‬23 AMP)

The cost of being a disciple of Jesus Christ includes “moving out” of this world spiritually, looking at the world as your old hometown. With the awareness you belong to an entirely different kingdom, the old one no longer has the power to affect you internally: it has lost it’s grip on you. To the world, you will have lost your grip. Your grip on status, on money, possessions, habits, reputation, and on sin.

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” Matthew 16:26)

“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.” (John 17:14-16)

While we may temporarily live here, this world is truly not our home. How important is it to know that our souls are sealed for heaven? 1 John 5:19 reads that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one, in wickedness. We can see in 2 corinthians 4:4 that the god of this world is Satan, and he has blinded the minds of those who do not believe the gospel.

If you have not yet come to God for the forgiveness of your sins , confessed Jesus Christ as Lord, and believed that God has raised Him from the dead, please know He is waiting for you with open arms. Won’t you call upon Him? Today is the day He can give you a new heart, light in the darkness, eyes that see, power to be called a son or daughter of God, and everlasting life. Make this world your old hometown. Become a part of the Kingdom of Heaven.

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Compilation of Research, Articles, and Findings that Contradict the Covid19 lock-down/ Testing & Tracking/ Mask hysteria

Compilation of Research, Articles, and findings from physicians that contradict the Covid19 lockdown/mask hysteria (including: asymptomatic carriers are not shown to transmit the illness). This list is not exhaustive, and not yet organized into the many separate categories existing in researching the topic of the Covid19 scandal. But anyway how was your day?

>>>Reported here is a case study of the asymptomatic patient and present clinical characteristics of 455 contacts, of which none contacted the illness. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32513410/

>>>Asymptomatic COVID-19 Spread Deemed ‘Rare,’ WHO Says (WHO has recently retracted these findings) https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/931984?src=mkm_covid_update_200608_mscpedit_&uac=341523ST&impID=2411974&faf=1&fbclid=IwAR0j4hLz_3H-dPF3jZChrx1kjTsTSZgWXOTxVK5nq9gc7bZeVEEpaY-aCtc

>>>PCR Tests are not only unreliable, they are fraudulent. “PCR detects a very small segment of the nucleic acid which is part of a virus itself. The specific fragment detected is determined by the somewhat arbitrary choice of DNA primers used which become the ends of the amplified fragment.” “ If things were done right, “infection” would be a far cry from a positive PCR test. You have to have a whopping amount of any organism to cause symptoms. Huge amounts of it,” Dr. David Rasnick, bio-chemist, protease developer, and former founder of an EM lab called Viral Forensics told me. “You don’t start with testing; you start with listening to the lungs. I’m skeptical that a PRC test is ever true. It’s a great scientific research tool. It’s a horrible tool for clinical medicine. 30% of your infected cells have been killed before you show symptoms. By the time you show symptoms…the dead cells are generating the symptoms.” …
I asked Dr. Rasnick what advice he has for people who want to be tested for COVID-19.“Don’t do it, I say, when people ask me,” he replies. “No healthy person should be tested. It means nothing but it can destroy your life, make you absolutely miserable.” https://uncoverdc.com/2020/04/07/was-the-covid-19-test-meant-to-detect-a-virus/?fbclid=IwAR1sf9RMhiQkJilePqpF34sF5RAOabb20drgUgdOoxTBoWh3tbN7-pgq66k

>>>Erin Marie Olszewski is a Nurse-turned-investigative journalist, who has spent the last few months on the frontlines of the coronavirus pandemic: https://youtu.be/UIDsKdeFOmQ

>>>Scientific theory comparison: Exosomes Vs. Virus theory. Shoud I take the Covid19 Test? https://youtu.be/V1Im7jsW9_Y

>>>“These estimates suggest misattribution of COVID-19 deaths to other respiratory illnesses (eg, pneumonia) or to nonrespiratory causes reflecting complications of COVID-19 (eg, coagulopathy, myocarditis). Few excess deaths involved pneumonia or influenza as underlying causes.“ https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2768086…

>>>To make conclusions leading to lockdown and mask wearing for all, you must look at viable virus in fine aerosol in non-symptomatic people. This post contains some interesting findings in the photos: https://www.facebook.com/jeremy.shaft/posts/10157397738485998?hc_location=ufi

>>>Cloth masks can increase infection: Over 3 times the risk of contracting influenza like illness if cloth mask is used https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4420971/…

>>>Penetration of cloth masks by particles was almost 97% compared to medical masks with 44%
(Link to original post; https://www.facebook.com/208101502/posts/10101790882675642/?d=n )

>>>”This study is the first RCT of cloth masks, and the results in caution against the use of cloth masks. This is an important finding to inform occupational health and safety. Moisture retention, reuse of cloth masks and poor filtration may result in increased risk of infection. Further research is needed to inform the widespread use of cloth masks globally. However, as a precautionary measure, cloth masks should not be recommended for HCWs, particularly in high-risk situations, and guidelines need to be updated.”

>>>From the WHO: “There is limited evidence that wearing a medical mask by healthy individuals in the households or among contacts of a sick patient, or among attendees of mass gatherings may be beneficial as a preventive measure.14-23 However, there is currently no evidence that wearing a mask (whether medical or other types) by healthy persons in the wider community setting, including universal community masking, can prevent them from infection with respiratory viruses, including COVID-19.” (Link no longer searchable: redacted)

>>>Prolonged wearing of the surgical mask causes loss of intellect potential and cognitive performance due to a decrease in blood oxygen and subsequent brain hypoxia. Note – some changes may be irreversible. https://www.who.int/…/advice-on-the-use-of-masks-in-the-com…

>>>From JAMA in March 2020: “Face masks should be used only by individuals who have symptoms of respiratory infection such as coughing, sneezing, or, in some cases, fever. Face masks should also be worn by health care workers, by individuals who are taking care of or are in close contact with people who have respiratory infections, or otherwise as directed by a doctor. Face masks should not be worn by healthy individuals to protect themselves from acquiring respiratory infection because there is no evidence to suggest that face masks worn by healthy individuals are effective in preventing people from becoming ill. Face masks should be reserved for those who need them because masks can be in short supply during periods of widespread respiratory infection. Because N95 respirators require special fit testing, they are not recommended for use by the general public.”

>>>”Report on surgical mask induced deoxygenation during major surgery” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18500410

>>>”Seventy percent of the patients showed a reduction in partial pressure of oxygen (PaO2), and 19% developed various degrees of hypoxemia. Wearing an N95 mask significantly reduced the PaO2 level” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15340662

>>>”Wearing N95 masks results in hypooxygenemia and hypercapnia which reduce working efficiency and the ability to make correct decision.”
“Medical staff are at increased risk of getting ‘Severe acute respiratory syndrome’ (SARS), and wearing N95 masks is highly recommended by experts worldwide. However, dizziness, headache, and short of breath are commonly experienced by the medical staff wearing N95 masks. The ability to make correct decision may be hampered, too.”

>>>Chronic hypoxia-hypercapnia influences cognitive function” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18331781

>>>”Hypercapnia status has been shown to predict mild cognitive impairment” https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-35797-3
Chronic hypoxia – hypercapnia has been seen as a cause of cognitive impairment https://www.atsjournals.org/…/fu…/10.1164/ajrccm.186.12.1307

>>>updated to find information on cloth mask particle filtration
Fit testing matters less vs it’s an N95 mask: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21477136

>>>Masks don’t seem to impact family infection as much: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28039289

>>>Gotta use the mask and do all the other things too: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22188875

>>>Medical or N95 isn’t that different: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31479137

What kills things on masks? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29855107: yes: bleach, UVC,autoclave, TERC no: UVA, alcohol
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29678452: UVGI is a yes
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25806411 UVGI works, and mask still good, but much more fragile (90% more)

>>>We need more studies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25858901

>>>This might be where we get the guidance from: https://www8.nationalacademies.org/onpinews/newsitem.aspx…

>>>Lancet: “We have no uniform policy”: https://www.thelancet.com/…/PIIS2213-2600(20)30134…/fulltext

>>>History of surgical masks: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/5333967

>>>This paper was actually a great read. Basically walks up to the invention of plastic masks with filters. You can’t get a fabric mask wet, and it’s much less effective without a lining (in the citation they were using packed cotton as the best lining)
The take home wrt cloth masks stopping viral particles of ~120 nm or cough particles less than 1 um:
Distribution of particle sizes in a cough maxes out at ~9
Distribution of particle sizes in a cough maxes out at ~900 nm: https://bmcpulmmed.biomedcentral.com/…/10.1…/1471-2466-12-11
Most particles under 1 um: Fabian P, Mcdevitt JJ, Dehaan WH et al. (2008) Influenza virus in human exhaled breath: an observational study.

>>>Cloth masks not very efficient with small particles (in some cases negligible filtering): https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/5/4/e006577.full: Laboratory tests showed the penetration of particles through the cloth masks to be very high (97%) compared with medical masks (44%) (used in trial) and 3M 9320 N95 (<0.01%), 3M Vflex 9105 N95 (0.1%).

>>>Highly recommend reading this one- particle size breakdown and fabric differences for cloth masks and particle penetration: https://doi.org/10.1093/annhyg/meq044

In conclusion, both surgical and cotton masks seem to be ineffective in preventing the dissemination of SARS–CoV-2 from the coughs of patients with COVID-19 to the environment and external mask surface. https://annals.org/…/effectiveness-surgical-cotton-masks-bl…

>>>Mask wearing can increase infection. Most people do not even know how to wear or use them. https://www.news-medical.net/…/Wearing-masks-may-increase-y…

>>>US surgeon general warns against wearing face coverings.

>>>Fauci’s admission himself covid mortality on part with seasonal influenza :

>>>CDC’s numbers: https://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/burden/…

>>>Columbia University: Psychological Harms of Face Masks:
“Many young children burst into tears or recoil when someone wearing a mask approaches.
By putting on masks, we take away information that makes it especially difficult
for children to recognize others and read emotional signals, which is unsettling and
disconcerting.” https://www.cugmhp.org/five-on-friday/why-a-mask-is-not- just-a- mask/?
fbclid=IwAR1_h_ykyuIOzQ9WqA_u_muupA8D8UwOg vnhlwcjoIw_CReHuKSPPmy2wC4

>>>New England Journal of Medicine:
“We know that wearing a mask outside health care facilities offers little, if any, protection from
infection.” https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp2006372

>>>CAL-OSHA Regulations:
”Cloth face coverings do not protect against COVD -19”
https://dir.ca.gov/dosh/coronavirus/COVID-19-Infection- Prevention-in-Logistics.pdf

>>>California Department of Health:
“Face coverings may increase risk if users reduce their use of strong defenses.”

>>>”There is limited evidence to suggest that use of cloth face coverings by the public during a
pandemic could help reduce disease transmission.” https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CID
/DCDC/Pages/Face- Coverings-Guidance.aspx

>>>FDA – “Even a properly fitted N95 mask does not prevent illness or death”
https://web.archive.org/web/20200516235249/https:/www. fda.gov/medical-devices/
personal-protective-equipment- infection-control/n95-respirators-and-surgical-masks-face-

>>>Neurosurgeon Dr. Russell Blaylock :
”There is no scientific evidence that masks are effective. If you are not sick, you should not wear a face mask.” https://technocracy.news/blaylock-face-masks-pose-serious- risks-to-the-healthy/

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