Banging Down the Door

the battle


Some days, there are moments I am fortunate enough to learn something about my own journey. Today was one of those days.

This afternoon I was on the computer hovering over my measly resume and despairing over what options exist for me. I was mentally spent as it was.

Then all of the sudden I hear a series of thuds coming from downstairs. I tilted my head in concentration as the thuds became bangs and progressed into repetitive loud crashings. I began to panic, as my step-dad was in bed resting from the flu.

So I flung myself out of my chair, quite angry, and flew down the steps to see what involvement my boys might have to do with the noise. CRASH! Nothing in the living room. SLAM! Nothing in the next room. SLAM! BANG! 

When I got to the kitchen, I saw the screen door just holding its hinges and appearing through the window was what looked like my seven-year-old son in a ferocious battle with that door. CRASH! CRa…

He stopped when he saw me standing in the doorway and the look on his little face turned from rage to fear in that second.

The door was locked.

I didn’t care.

He was getting a spanking, period. And afterwards, he would get scolded in the meanest mom voice I could muster.

Have you ever seen the little orange kitty cat from Shrek…you know, that scene where its pitiful gigantic eyes just stare up at you and well up in tears as his little face trembles? Well, I’m almost sure he stood in that kitchen today and broke my heart.

“But Mom, I prayed! I prayed to God for someone to come unlock the door…and it didn’t work! Nobody came out!”

I paused. “Austin, He always hears our prayers…but He needs us to trust and obey Him. You couldn’t have been out there for long. If you would have waited just a little bit, I was going downstairs anyway and God would have answered your prayer. But instead, you took the matter into your own hands, broke the rules and got yourself in trouble. You aren’t allowed to bang down the door.”

As I wiped his tears, my own words echoed back to my spirit. I knew that this was one of those lessons. I teach, yet I am taught.

How many times have I cried out for God’s help, only to rush suddenly to my own devices and get into trouble? When things look hopeless, how quickly I try to take the matter into my own hand, forgetting that my Heavenly Father promises to supply all of my needs. And What a timely reminder while walking through the valley I am in right now.

The Lord says in Proverbs 3, verses 5-6:

” Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Today I was reminded that when The Lord wants to get my attention, He will use the very words out of my own mouth I use to correct my own children. These are the lessons that stick.




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